the wisdom to know the difference

Hear Speak See No Evil

watercolor, ink, paper

“The wisdom to know the difference”, this is the current tittle of the book that rests by my bedside and one I am currently reading ( I read several at a time) the books I like to read can be read that way, Non Fiction and about some sort of spiritual journey or life learning tool.  I guess some people would call them self-help books, but I like to call them, “lessons in life books”.  It’s funny how you can read the same topic over and over, but the meaning or lesson might not stick until whatever you need to learn comes into your life or reminds you about a past event that you had suppressed because of its pain.

The title “the wisdom to know the difference”, I cannot as of yet give the book any type of review other than the title of the book.  But the title of the book helped me make a tremendous choice in my life this week.

Someone has recently attempted to make contact with me, someone that is a relative in my family.  This person(s) has been out of my life for over ten years, their choice.  This person and their partner made a lifetime of bad choices and rather than take responsibility for them, they blamed everyone around them.  The contact was made very strangely, telling me that they needed to talk to me.  I was unsure at first; the spelling of the contact name was different than their given name.  I ignored it waiting to see how it played out.  Two days later I received a message from this same person, telling me who they were and IF, I was who I claimed to be on my FB Art Page (peaceful, loving, kind and forgiving), I WOULD contact them directly.  Hmm….. Threat, I don’t know?  I read that message over-and-over-and-over again.  I thought- and-thought-an- thought, I AM truly who I am,  and I am about being loving, kind, and forgiving but right now I feel like I have been given an ultimatum. I would think that if they wanted to reconnect, it would be a heartfelt approach.   I was flooded with past memories of lies, betrayal, and belittlement.   The next day, I woke up and saw the book with that bold title staring right at me, “the wisdom to know the difference”.  And in that moment a wave came upon me, that was my answer.  I was not a gullible 19 year old, or an insecure 25 year old, I was not a duty-bound 30 year old.  I was a 46 year old, with a life full of wisdom.  That moment, right there in the early AM morning, I turned off my brain.  I turned off my pre-programmed thought pattern of generations of duty bound learning and just felt.  I felt the vibrations of that message.  I let it sink into my core body.  I witness the essence of it and without analyzing it; I felt the meaning, the vibrations and the toxic negative energy that came from it, and I realized that I have a choice.  I get to choose whom I let into my life, regardless of blood relation or not.    Yes, I am all about spreading love, peace, joy and I do forgive.  I wish them well in their life, and I hope they find their path. I am not responsible for the choices that they have made in their life and I am not responsible to clean-up their mess.   It does not mean that I am not a loving, forgiving, person.  I think sometimes the hardest love to give is the toughest love.  You can live in the land of poor-me or you can wake up and make a change.  I have “the wisdom to know the difference”.  I have often wondered how I would react if they came back into my life, I guess I discovered that answer this week.

 

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